Grasping onto something you that you can't see that is only a phone call. What's the point. Blank statement in the face. She wonders why she should miss something that hardly exist. Does a call constitute as a commitment? Or what is it? She may be over it. And may have moved on to another challenge. Carpe Diem. One life. You know how the statement goes. So what is the point. In her reality she is without partner only to commit the crimes by herself. Her sidekick is not human will always remain so. The only one to tell secrets to that will never let it slip out.
Trying so hard to be loyal but her feeling are fading and moving onto another conquest that she can feel, see, and laugh with. Saddened by this she tries to forge those feelings to the side but sometimes they are so overwhelming like the hardest rainfall you have ever been caught in on your bike. So what choice does she make? Wasting her time in the waiting line while more time passes. Keeping herself away from different activities because if one makes her laugh a lot she is immediately smitten. It may be over. So now what? Can she keep being sad or just move on. She has the best way to figure it out and that is by forgetting and eventually the feelings fade away like the fire that is shrunken to nothing by water. Like the tears she holds in because there is something there between the two of them but it doesn't seem real enough anymore.
She will finally ask this person soon enough and hopefully she will receive the real answer to her questions. This is how she feels at the moment. Pulled in one direction and then the other. What to do? It feels like a game she is playing alone. Solitaire. Confinement. All she wants to do is break out with him but she can't because something inside her tells her its not there. Maybe with her but not with him. and this is how she feels in her heart. She jumps in head first and along with him. But she can't see him in the deep or even the shallow waters anymore. Are you on the dock waiting for her return and when she returns from the shallow waters are you really going to be there on dock side or have you already left? Maybe she should let go of what she is feeling and has felt. Maybe it was only real for the time it needed to be. Her insides are screaming because his person could be the best and worst person all at the same time. Wondering what you are thinking when she talks to you. If she could just have one second of honesty and maybe to see the whites of your eyes to watch the colors fade to red to see the real truth and not just the voice that can cover up anything. The eyes tell all and maybe that is what she is waiting for to see the truth that lies in your eyes.
She has started to forget about you during the day only to escape the feelings of wanting and needing. So is the big move really happening or have you gone back to start and is the game over? There isn't a secret code to have forty lives here. This may be the return of her. Her real self and she maybe more powerful this time. So the questions remains...
What is really is the truth?
Is she holding onto something that is only a friendship at this point?
Or should she just relax and wait patiently for the best gifts that can be bestowed on her? The best gifts of you, your flesh, your voice, your eyes, your soul and total truth of you...
Only time will tell......
But its almost time to turn the hour glass over. the sands are moving fast. So should she holdfast?
A one man ore, will never take you in the right direction at the speed you will like..
