Ties That Bind.

This is the day she walks away. This is the day you turn around and see your mistake. She's been waiting for this day. She thought she was there right with you. But only part of her was. You have her heart gripped in your hands. Ripping it apart ventricle by ventricle. A twist of the tongue. She wishes you just kept everything up inside of you. The more you're a ghost the more she is upset. The sinking feeling in her chest is lying so deep now. Like there is an indentation in her chest. You are pulling her soul away while she is trying to grasp on for air and life. Why are you doing this to her? So many lies all from the start. What were you trying to gain from taking her heart inside your hands? So many questions that will not be answered. You cower away like a frightened dog with his tail between his legs.

Break the ties that bind. You wouldn't let her do it so now is your day in May take charge and just pull the rest of the pieces from her heart so she can pick it up and start with her head high again. So ashamed to let you in. You will never understand what you have meant to her in such a short period of time. You fed from her veins but spit the blood back in her face. She hopes this makes you happy down the road. You have ruined two things. One which is a friendship that will never withstand this. The other thing you ruined is her belief in you. If she has been what you have been looking for why have you thrown her overboard only to hold her head in the water to drawn.

It hurts her so much and you don't even care what it is doing to her. Some days she is okay and others she just wishes for your voice to grace its presence upon her but you will not let it. The chains are heavy please remove them at this point. Break the ties that bind. Lost in a forest and the truth is hidden in the quicksand that appears as she is running for you, toward you, and now away from you. Her realization is the forest is where you left her and she is just running over the leaves and shrubby in her head at this point. You where never there and you never really cared. You took your vengeance out on the wrong person. The clock arms spin and spin. Days have gone by and she doesn't remember your breath at this point. Who are you?

Grinding halt. Withdrawn your name from the race. Last place was never a spot you ever endeavored so you left her at the last mile marker and took off for the run of your life to win the race. So her guess is that race was for another. who is at the finish line. She would never let you slip away but you let her. The wood you left her on in the water has holes in it and its sinking. When she takes her last breath of life it won't be you resuscitating her. She just may be waking up from a horrible dream state to learn you never even existed and at some points she wished you didn't. Don't look the shadows breath and they are telling her that her appendages much detach for her to become whole again so maybe you did her a favor.

Fallen. Dreams the same. Fall and fight and flight.

Ties

That

Break

the

Binds.

Dead Battery.

Held breath. Holding onto a feeling. Hide and seek. Every noise your phone makes you are holding onto a fascination, a fictional story, but nothing is on the other end. Holding the sinking feeling inside you, hoping it is the one you want to be on the other end. It is never who you expect. How long should you keep holding on? He gives you enough to keep you in motion but it all ceases fire in the end. You won't catch him around here. Maybe he received the prize he wanted. She wonders what she is supposed to learn and take in from this torturous game. Speak no feeling. You don't care a bit.

Sweet darkness. She continues the story on her own. Wondering if you were ever real or just some creation in her head lead to pass time and space. Struggle to memorize your face and smell at this point. You don't have the time. Makes her wonder. She doesn't believe in you anymore. But something keeps her holding on and she can't figure out what keeps you bouncing around in her head. One day she will awake and it won't hurt anymore. A game of hop scotch played alone. She lands on five. Will month five be when she finally stops holding on. A game of tarot may say she has found love in another but its not in you. She serenades herself in this game. Turned your back and left her lonely. What is the game you are playing with her heart. She feels like its a crime to have a feeling for him. He gives enough just to steal more of her heart and hope that one day he will appear, unannounced and sweep her away. But I guess that's why they call them daydreams. they are not real.

2005 April 11th was a message that was delivered in 2010. What for? What were you trying to create her just to destroy another. Maybe it was real at some point in time. The anchor can only hold her for so long and then what? The guilt lays heavy on her when she is near another even if she hasn't embraced in touch she feels her stomach fill with butterflies that were once for you. Now she is left chasing a feeling she received from you in another, then another, and maybe another but it will not suffice. Brother got this complex occupation. One would say he sold his soul to the devil but maybe he sold his soul to find himself and she understands that. But what is the lesson to be learned here?

Will the answers ever come to her. The confusion lays in herself alone. Nothing is real on the other end. It feels like one lie after another. The rain pours heavy on her window and like a river down her rosy cheeks. Eyes so puffed up one may mistaken her for sleepless nights. Not trying to run your life but she wants you to do what's right.

Her heart is somewhere in your hands and maybe its time to put it in the locker in the train station. Send her the key for the locker and she can relinquish her belongings at this point.

....Dead Battery....

Innocence Makes The Heart grow Fonder.

Scam Artist. Abandoned on your day of reckoning. Lost and lonely not a new feeling for her. The law abides at its will. Spinning and drowning when will the hand rise and when will she take the help of another? Its greener on the other side; or so they may say... A consensus of a thousand screams. The fear and terror gets louder everyday. Now who is to hide? The maze continues but when will she find her way out. Lost and lonely as the child plays alone. In her party dress and ready for her dance. Amazed and shaken. So happy for this day. Her hair is perfect. Pictures in the grass with family and friends. She is growing up. But this is all a dream because this day has never happened.

Living in a dream, a movie sequence. She wants the happy ending. The fairy tale and wants it so bad she can taste it but it may never happen. She gets so close but is confused by a feeling, a mere moment of lust. It has taken her far but not far enough. The thrill wears off and she is left where she started at the beginning of the maze again. It gets harder and harder to not keep starting at the beginning and somewhat nerve wrecking. she may never know what she wants but she knows its not here. Maybe a guide should fill the space and time to send her and point her where she needs and should be because she may never know.

One more try. Here we go again. The ball keeps bouncing and she is running. It is in her sights. So red and luminous but not in her grasp. This mirror reflects more then you see. Its a showcase of.. Its so plain to see. But holding back has always been her enemy in life, in sport, in everything. ideals are a conflict. The tightest noose is the one you tie yourself. She is running out of rope at this point...

Living with these broken memories...

Dying at the cause of another. Creating the wrong reality and finding the beginning of something new.

Broken memories...

Final call.

Last train boards at 2. Will you be on it. I can already answer for her. And it is no. Not until she can give up the ghost and move onto the next train. If there is another.....